Went to Ryan's Steakhouse today for the most disgusting buffet ever experienced. The worst was the machine processed ice cream. It was all slimey, and well, it's hard to discribe.

People needlessly complicate everything. To big things all the way down to the smallest thing like paying the paperboy. JUST DO IT. Take a deep breath, don't panic, and just do it, it'll be ok, I promise. Don't add 12 or 15 steps to a one step job. Don't think about it any farther into the future than can be controlled at present. Arhg.

You feel certain things. Doesn't matter what they are always, but they're there. Really being able to see a person is like looking at one of those 3D magic eye pictures, you have to relax your eyes to see the real picture; otherwise it's just a scrambled mess. You let go, and just let these things come at you, and let these things happen to you. It almost doesn't matter what the outcome is, what's important is the feeling. It feels like breathing. Simple as that I guess. breathing...

The sun peaks through the trees and shines off the pavement. It's like that Adam F song "circles"...ever hear it? Things happen in slow motion, but it a good way. Everything echos and sustains. Everything is a living thing, not just the people, animals and plants. Everything is like a melody, a song. Every touch becomes signifant. The sweat on your forehead, the bark of a tree, the rough texture of an icecream cone. A dizzy dream.

I can't do anything more than whats in me to do. No regrets, no looking back. You've done the best you can.

I'm sooooooooo fucking bored right now. As rob gordon would say, I could take the country A-K and throw it in the middle of the street. n/m. I'm so stir crazy, I've been out of my house lots, but I feel like I havn't moved in weeks. It seems like every time I want to hang out with someone they're busy. I can only do so much to the site before I get sick of the site of that. Some people giving shit on there anyway. Met a really nice person who I am intrigued by. Sort of get the feeling I'm not good enough though. First time I've ever got that feeling...wonder what that means. I'm such a cocky asshole sometimes

The DEMF is the weekend. They're calling it "movement" from now I guess. I'm meeting the "rhythmic unrest" gang at foran's on saturday. I'm not sure who I really want to see at the festival, I'll probably just wander around like always. Probably spend alot of time at the nefarious.net booth down by the river. Most of the dnb dj's play on Sunday, though I kinda think I need something besides that right now in my life. It's getting droning.boom-chat boomchat boom-chat boomchat boom-chat boomchat boom-chat boomchat.........

I've been playing around with my new synthasizer lately. I've been trying to clean my room to make room for it. It's not that this thing is big, it's that more is just that messy.

Spent much of today sorting through many of my records. They were all a mess; records in wrong sleeves, no sleeves, out of order, etc. I'm trying to compile a bunch for a mix but I'm having trouble deciding which ones to use. I've got half a mind just to wing it and not plan it at all. Things don't seem to go well when I don't plan them though. I'm pretty sure "winging" it is why I slid through highschool, and stuggled in college (for the time that I went). Winging it is probably why my releationships don't work. I'll come back to that thought in a second. So now my records are organized somewhat, I can proceed. I worked on some music a little bit today too, that's coming along nicely. I'm pleased with what I've done so far.

Now, as far as my friend's girlfriends go. They are fucking annoying and should shut their mouths. All I heard from her all night was 1. How she didn't know what she wanted to do, 2. How she hated what my friend and I ultimatly decided to do. Things brings back such horrible memories of a perticular girlfriend I used to have. All she wanted to do was lay around the house all day and bitch about how life sucks and there's nothing to do. The most exciting thing we ever did was walk to the corner store so she could buy cigarettes (she smoked like a chimney, which made her smell bad.) All this being said, am I really ready to meet someone new right now? Dunno, not like I'm under any pressure; except from my mom, who wants a grand duaghter. I told her sure, I'd have it all figured out really soon. My cousin Megan was also being really clingy with her boyfriend tonight; which reminded me how much I don't like that. I don't mind being emotionally attached, it's the physical part that gets me. I don't like being physically hung on, or my lap sat on, or whatever. They were both sitting in one chair :::shutters::::::

In the words of John Cusak in High Fidelity...

who needs a drink...

I didn't do shit today. I sat around all day, worked on music. Ryan and I were suposed to hit up a bar, but he lost his ID. Oh well, shit happens.

Fairly bored right now. I'm online and there's really nothing to do. Usually there's some issue with the site I need to deal with or some problem I need to fix, but there's nothing tonight. I may just get offline early and read or something.

I did go and see the matrix reloded today. There's alot that could be said about it. First thing I'll say is this; I was slightly disapointed with the "wow" factor of the feel of the movie (probably just because it's a sequel and that already happened with the first one...to an extent), but was impressed on how they expanded the themes of fate, destiny, and choice/freewill. It is also good because now we're deep in the bowels of the story and there's all kinds of interesting little things going on and all of the principle characters have already been introduced. I'm glad it wasn't just a clone of the first one.

Don't ever eat sour jacks and drink fruit punch. Your teeth will hurt afterwords and you'll want to vomit during.

Check out the scary picture I put up on my pictures page.

I just bought a record called "Billion Dollar Gravy" by a group (only one guy now, actually) called London Elektricity. I really like this song. On the surface it just kinda seems like another melodic drum&bass record, but it's the subtlties that make it stand out for me. It has a sort of sad, yet uplifting melody. Like, you just got dumped by your girl, you've been crying all night, and then the sun comes up and it's the most beautiful day. A voice singing "Baby, don't you leave me...." in the backround (hard to tell if it's a high register male, or a female singing it, but it doesn't really matter. It just makes me feel good listening to it.

I'm going to see the second Matrix movie tomorrow. Going to try to go early in the day (1pmish), as to avoid the inevidable madness that will ensue. I made that mistake with seeing Xmen 2. I wanted in a line for a half an hour outside the theatre, then still kinda got shitty seats. Not too mention how loud, crowded, and just generally annoying everyone around me was. I had to deal with all the comic book geeks commenting on the film and making remarks as to the inaccuracy of jean greys hair color or other such irrelevancies. I was one of these poeple untill I realized that I was worrying myself with unimportant matters all the time. Now I worry about music, because that's...just somehow more important...I guess.

7-11 Hotdogs are good if you get them around 2:30 in the afternoon.