I don't know what it is lately but I've been feeling like I don't "deserve" to do anything that I like. I feel like I don't deserve to work on comics or do sim racing or go see a movie I might like.... I don't even really know where that guilt is coming from.

In grade school when talking about things like weather, the climate, or just other big scientific concepts, kids would shout out ideas like "Why don't they just build giant electric fans to blow the hurricanes and tornadoes away from cities and people". An 8 year can be forgiven for not understanding why something like that isn't feasible , and yet I know adults who still think like this. Perhaps not about the fans specifically (though it wouldn't shock me), but this notion that whatever (not even) half-baked idea pops into your head is a good one and are baffled as to why none of the experts in the field have thought of this yet.

Not exactly the same thing but I'm reminded of a time years ago when ipods first came out, I got one and a co-worker scoffed, saying "that's just a hard drive with a screen on it, I could make that at home". In the years that I worked with him he never did build his own ipod. Go figure.

 We're mostly in the "endemic" phase now. Just shy of a million people dead. Give yourself a nice big pat on the back, America.