I don't really like the abrasive self. I don't like getting pissed off, acting pushy, or like a general asshole. First of all, it doesn't work too well for me. I'm not a "macho" person by any means. Me acting like an asshole comes off as someone who's not an asshole trying to act like one. Which, in a way, makes me seem like even more of an asshole...because then that shows direct intent. I don't like yelling. I don't like being yelled at. I like speaking in a calm, relaxed tone. Even laughing can be unsettling for me at times. I like breathing, not hyperventalating or suffocating. I'm the kind of person who likes the journey more than the destination. I like the imagined more than the real. I find art and the surreal in everyday things.
And I worry, I fear, and I panic at the sight of EVERYTHING.