Thursday, February 12, 2004

There's a couple kinds of anger that I'm familiar with. The first kind, is the kind that I suffer from. It's inner anger. It's anger or frustration with one's self. This inner anger can be caused by outside forces (people, events), but some kind of rationale in the front of my mind prevents it from getting out of hand. In relation to this there are a couple kinds of paranoia. The kind I suffer from entails being paranoid about very specific things or situations.

The other kind of anger and paranoia is the kind that I see from my coworkers. As selfish and egocentric as my anger and paranoia seem to be, it pails in comparison to theirs. They have an anger and paranoia towards large masses of people. More specifically, they have an anger and paranoia towards large masses of people they've never met. Their anger and paranoia is often also related to people living in places they've never been, or doing perfectly reasonable things that they've never done ( or simply don't care to do ). They have anger and paranoia about gay people getting married. These same people have never seem to have met an openly gay person. Which is rather odd because in today's society where being gay isn't as much of a societal taboo, it seems like you'd have to go out of your way not to at least know one or two. They're angry about chemical weapons in bunkers that don't seem to exist. They're angry at anyone who denies the existance of the imaginary waepons bunkers. They're angry at anyone who says that killing thousands of people wasn't worth finding absolutely no threat to themselves.

They're angry at black people who want to attend a collage that might take thier societal backrounds into consideration upon admittance. These people don't even want to attend this collage. They don't even want to read a book for that matter. They're angry at 'niggers' and 'spicks' for collecting government issued releif checks, being a drain on thier own paychecks. They're angry that the government takes even a single penny out of their earnings for anything that they personally don't benefit from.

They're angry at Canadians...I'm not sure why, but they don't like em. Sure, Canada isn't perfect...but why bitch about thier healthcare system that alows poor children medical treatment that alows thier families enough money to feed them with afterwards? They're angry at Americans who don't have health insurance. They're angry because "It was there responsability to get a job that covers them" I guess it was the kids' responsability to have parents that have jobs that cover them.

They're angry at Mexicans. They're angry because Mexican immagrants are stealing jobs Americans won't do. They're angry because they don't speak english.

They're angry at anything and anyone outside of thier shell of veiw or understanding. They think the absolute worst about whatever they don't see. And they make me fucking sick.

My mom is angry at Janet Jackson for showing something on TV for 7 seconds that every human being on the planet has. She's angry at society for letting "them" push the limits. Apparently she's angry at jews too. It used to just be subtle dissrespect for anything not Christian, but a few weeks ago when I was laying on the couch she was watching something on TV and and said something to the effect of "fucking Kikes". I can only imagine that she thought I was sleeping at the time.

All of this is just venting. These people I'm talking about are the products of a long string of causes that have culminated into modern conservitavism. This issue isn't new and I havn't made some kind of breakthrough in realizing these people exist. Perhaps all this in it's own way have been a little judgemental on my part. Who knows.

I wish I could attribute it to some simple cliche' like saying it's because of ignorance. This in and of itself is evident.

I'm fucking sick. And I'm fucking sickened with myself for even wasting my time giving this encompassing issue a second thought. Broad strokes aren't my style.

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