Thursday, February 23, 2006

American Zombies

I often doubt some people's self awareness. I encounter many of these people in my job. Whether it's taking an order on the phone, or delivering it to the door, I wonder if they know what they're really doing. I wonder if they know where they are. I wonder this because many times they can't even get through a sentence that should take 4 seconds in under one minute. It's filled with a lot of "uhhhh...", "eerrrr..." Or "what's that thing, I forgo-oh yeah-wait-no, hang on a sec errrr what was I sayin-oh yeah I want ummmm..." And on and on it goes. Then I come to the door with their food; many many many times they forget that they ordered it. They open the door, look at me in a confused manner, and not until I ask them if they ordered pizza does a lightbulb go off..."That must be the reason there's a guy in a Pizza Hut uniform holding a pizza in his hand". It's at this point that they exclaim "Oh yeah! I forgot I ordered that". Consider this, it's usually 30-45 minutes from when they ordered to when they receive their food. Most of my customers are HUUUGE people. I almost feel guilty bringing them a pizza and bringing them one inch closer to their impending doom....almost. I completely believe in and adhere to the notion that you are what you eat, and I expect these people probably don't eat much besides garbage. They don't know how much money they're giving me. I routinely am given way too much or way too little. They don't know where they live. I am routinely given the wrong address by the people placing the order.

I know this all seems like just bitching and making fun; but it's more than that. This is a serious and growing problem. This crap people are stuffing their faces with and have been for years is yet another thing about our modern society that is rotting their brains. I often wonder how these people that I encounter have jobs and are able to pay for mortgages to live in houses. These people have children and I see them in shopping malls and other public places shoving the same garbage into their mouths that their grossly obese, stupid parents are. Like I said, what they eat is part of it, I suspect many of them are probably drug users, heavy drinkers and so on. Other factors may include their only source of information coming from mind-numbing sitcoms. The list could go on for miles. All those factors aside, I think these people were taught to eat lazy as children, which caused their bodies and minds to become lazy.

In the documentary "Super-Size Me" Morgan Spurlock interviews a principal at a school for troubled teens. In this school, they removed all processed foods, and red meats from the cafeteria. They were replaced by raw vegetables, lean meats, and whole-grain breads. The principle reported a vast improvement in student performance and behavior, practically overnight. I think we need to re-evaluate our notions about the cause of slumping student grades in our country. While I'm not a person who thinks in the terms that a problem always has one cause, I think that it may not be as much about social factors as it is about junk food.

Do I have the model diet? Of course not, but I pay attention to what goes into my body. I understand and keep mental track of how much fat/calories/and sugar I put into my body on a daily basis. I've also become much more aware of eating a balanced diet (Certain amount of protein, fiber, fruits/vegies etc per day) And since moving in with Ashley, I've become even more aware. Partially because she gives me a certain look when she sees me eating junk, and partially because I want to set a good example for her 4 year old daughter (who by the way is getting negative eating-influence from her grandparents).

People have turned into zombies. Almost literally. The walking nearly dead. Unaware or uncaring of the consequences (or of their surroundings); they pick up the phone and dial me up so I can bring them more shit so they can continue living their sloth existence. I'm going to market a product called "Zombie Feed". It's just going to be ground up slop in tub...a mixture of Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and Twinkies for sweetness. I'll make millions.


  1. I'm surprised no one has commented on this yet.

  2. Well at least now I've got a comment about not commenting.