Why you should stand in front of a bus

I'm so medicated right now I don't know what the fuck to think. I've been doped up on cold pills for a solid week. I think I might at last be winning.

I bought season 2 of Millenium yesterday, I was quite happy when I did. When the show was originally on I was in a moody part of my life. The show was good in a different way back then. I could relate to the characters and ideas presented in it. Now I appreciate the show on a different level. I understand the stories a little better, understand the meanings a bit better as well. Before it comforted me in a sappy teen melodramatic kind of way; Now it makes me think more than it does make me feel.

I also bought the movie "Moonlight Mile" on dvd. It was quite good, although, up untill today, I couldn't put my finger on why I didn't like the girl who worked in the post office. It's not so much the movie's fault, but there has been a recent string of movies that have love stories in them that involve a sad-sap of a guy meeting (and falling in love with) a free-spirited girl. Examples: Moonlight Mile, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Garden State. These female charaters in these movies are fantasies. They do not really exist like this in real life. The only one that came sort-of close to being real was Clemintine in Eternal Sunshine; she had her fucked up qualities. These kinds of girls are the fantansy of every quiet nerdy intro-vert. I should know, because I had an experience with just such a girl, and it started out fun, but got really weird and ugly really fast. Beleive me guys, you don't want to go out with someone like Clemintine. Girls who end up that "free spirited" are that way for reasons and come with a hell of a lot of baggage. Going out with a girl like that is like eating an entire box of tweenkies in one sitting. It starts off good, but after about 10 minutes you want to hurl. Beleive me, go out with a girl who is down to earth and level headed. Someone who has real interests and not just a "Up for anything and everything" attitude. Now while I still like these movies, I take them with a grain of salt (that the writers are probably lonely people).

Work tonight was grrrraaaahhh!!!! I want to strangle some of those fuckers and shove dirt in their mouths so they'll stop talking. Most nights it's ok, but nights when it's busier and we have to stay later it's always the ones who act like tough guys who are the first to start crying like babies about wanting to go home. These same people piss and moan when I have to take late deliveries and can't get started on the dishes right away, but they won't lift a finger to wash a single one themselves in order to get done a little soon. Instead they'll stand in the back, smoking cigarettes and talking on their cellphones to who the fuck knows. Fuck off you meatheaded assholes. You're dumb fucks that serve no purpose to anyone. Go get hit by a fucking bus.